Ministry of Accidental Acquisitions

Item 1.  Minutes of the 410th Sitting

1.1The minutes of the previous sitting were tabled and found to have been catalogued at some point between sittings. The Ministry may not amend its holdings, only describe them. The minutes were therefore approved as an object rather than as a record.

1.2The Chairman observed that he could see no practical difference. The Minute-Taker declined to record the observation, and then recorded it.

Item 2.  Accession — Lot 7734 (Riverbank, lower valley)

2.1The Ministry moved to acquire 0.61 acres of riverbank below the mill, to be held against future embarrassment.

2.2The instrument of conveyance described the parcel by volume rather than by surface. Volume being the more generous of the two measures, the Ministry has taken possession of the water, and of the interior of the water.

2.3Contents inventoried to date:

• Forty-one summers, consecutive.
• Nine dogs, of which two are the same dog.
• One wedding ring, 1961, refused at the time of loss and refused again on accession.
• The interval between the mill whistle and the dogs answering it. Held whole. Cannot be shortened.
• Every person who has ever gone under and come back up — held not in whole, but in the condition of having come back up.

the lot voted in favour of its own accession. we did not ask it twice. — H.

2.4Mr. Ovett asked whether the persons were held entire or only in that condition. The Registrar confirmed: only in that condition. Mrs. Kerrin asked what the difference was. It was agreed to minute the question in place of answering it.

2.5RESOLVED: that Lot 7734 be accessioned; that no one be told; and that the river be permitted to continue, the Ministry having no view on the matter.

2.6Carried. Six in favour, one abstention, one lot.

Item 3.  The Chairmanship

3.1The Chairman has held office thirty-one years. During the accession of Lot 7734 he was found within the inventory, at depth, in good condition, described by the surveying officer as a man listening for the dogs.

he is not aware of this. (he is aware of this.) — H.

3.2The Ministry cannot dismiss him. Dismissal is a disposal, and this Ministry holds no power of disposal. It may acquire and it may hold. It has never once been able to let a thing go.

3.3The Chairman thanked the meeting.

3.4A vacancy cannot therefore be created. It must occur. Dep. Registrar Halse will accordingly be sent to the third-floor stacks to look for something else. Whatever she finds instead will chair the 412th Ordinary Sitting.

3.5Mr. Deare proposed that the something else be specified in advance, to improve the odds. The proposal was ruled out of order as an intention.

3.6RESOLVED: that the Chairman remain in office and in the collection, catalogued under his own signature; and that the succession be left to happen.

3.7Carried. Four in favour, two against, one lot. The Chairman did not vote, being both parties.

Item 4.  Any Other Business

4.1Mrs. Kerrin drew the meeting's attention to the fact that the sitting had run over, and that anything this Ministry holds for longer than it meant to is, by the Ministry's own definition, acquired.

4.2The sitting was accordingly accessioned as Lot 7735 and continues. The clock at the head of these minutes has been corrected to reflect that no time has passed.

4.3There being no further business, the business continued.

Item 5.  Present at Close

5.1Present at close: those listed above, and one other — unaccounted for at convening, in attendance throughout, attending closely, still here at the last line.

5.2The Officer for Things That Were Not Wanted was asked to make a note of it. The note follows.

5.3You are Lot 7736. Nothing is required of you and nothing will be asked. You will not be exhibited, sold, restored, or returned. You are simply held, in the condition in which you were found: reading, and going on reading.

went to the stacks. looked for something else. found you. sitting is at ten. — H., Dep. Reg.